Petty level: 100

Petty level: 100

There’s this song called Baby Blue by Action Bronson.

It’s about moving on after a girl crushed your heart. After she didn’t treat you very well. About standing up for yourself, finding the courage to say that’s it, I’m moving on. And then after, having some shit to say about it.

Sure. All true. Then at 2:42 minutes into the song, Chance the Rapper comes in. And he has a few things to say on the topic. He does it in a way that makes me laugh every single time. He wishes some medium bad things onto his ex. Yup, medium bad. Nothing too terrible. Things that are just enough to ruin your day, every day.

It displays an absolute sensitivity, lyrical genius and a damn good sense of humor to make a list like this. You see, this is a topic that could make for a very angry song. Most of us remember these feelings of anger, sadness and revenge after a broken relationship. Now imagine someone with a strong pen writing about it. But nope, this perfectly petty verse just makes you smile. Only to realize in the last two lines that he really is hurting.

The lyrics below I plucked from Genius. If you click on the lyrics, you can read what they could mean, besides its literal meaning, according to listeners. Some are pretty interesting, but I prefer keeping this verse as literal as possible.

Now do me a favor. Grab the lyrics, grab the song. Bob around until 2:42 then read along and smile.

I hope you get a paper cut on your tongue
From a razor in a paper cup

I hope every soda you drink already shaken up
I hope your dreams dry like raisins in the baking sun
I hope your titties all saggy in your early 20's
I hope there's always snow in your driveway
I hope you never get off Fridays
And you work at a Friday's that's always busy on Fridays

I hope you win the lottery and lose your ticket
I hope it's Ben and Socrates poop all up in your kitchen
I hope the zipper on your jacket get stuck
And your headphones short, and your charger don't work

And you spill shit on your shirt
I hope your tears don't hurt, and I can smile in your face
Cut my losses, how Delilah changed my locks to a fade
I hope you happy, I hope you happy
I hope you ruined this shit for a reason, I hope you happy (igh!)

Fucking Fashion

Fucking Fashion

Found in Translation

Found in Translation